Closest Thing To Dying
“When overseas, you learn more about your country than you do the place you’re visiting” — Clint Borgen
A life-changing event just happened to me. I decided to follow my dream by going overseas to take a software engineer job. It’s funny to see what I’ve experienced for the past few months. Going overseas feels very similar like you’re “dying”.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be gloomy at all. This is also not a sad story. It's just that… when you know “the exact time that you’re gonna gone”, it is like dying, no? Think about it. You don’t exist physically in your loved one’s eyes. The only difference is that you still can contact them if you want.
There’s also a behavioral change in me approaching my departure. I counted up the days to my airplane boarding day as if it were my last day on Earth. I’ve been saying “goodbye” to my family, colleagues, best friends, etc. I was mindful of my “last” moments. “Last” bed, “last” bath, “last” everything. I created a bucket list of food that I must eat before I take off like a death-row inmate requesting their last meal.
Since I’m gonna “die” metaphorically, people start to show how much they care for me. You can see that your friends care (especially my fashion style apparently). Spending your last vacation trip (*for now) with your mates who you can imagine still being friends with in your 50s. My family who always “meddling” in every aspect of my relocation plan. Always check up about my passport, where I’m gonna live, what things need to bring, etc. All the wishes, farewell gifts, and “last” memories are given and I’m very grateful for it. It’s funny to finally see… that I’m truly loved.
To all of you… Thank you. Thank you for being with me for the past couple of months. Supporting… encouraging… giving advice. I’m glad that it is you.
This is not goodbye, just a temporary absence. Mata nee~
Regards,
Ferzos
