Communicare
“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed” — Adolf Hitler
What do you think of the above piece of quote? Frightening, isn’t it? In this story, I want to discuss communication and how most people undermine its power.
For me, communication is a powerful tool you need to know, especially in the digital era where information is flooded into our daily lives. Not to the point that we have to be the “master of communication”, no no no… I’m saying that we at least need to be aware that there is a deeper layer rather than just “uttering words”. If not, there would not be 4 years of study in college for this, am I right? Some people ridiculed that it is the easiest major one could take in college. “Auto-graduate”, they jokingly said.
Sadly, that’s a sign that communication has been undermined. These poor people don’t realize that they’ve been missing out throughout their lives. This time, I want to highlight a major point that I see or even experience related to ineffective communication in terms of a conversation whether it’s verbal or written. It’s when a person is just talking to get out what’s in their mind, without compelling if the recipient understands what they meant.
Many people think that all is done once you get out what’s in your head with a string of words. Then if the recipient doesn’t understand, they get blamed for not listening. But have you ever looked deeper, and thought that… maybe it’s you who can’t explain it well? Well… can you understand what this man is talking about? I don’t think so.
Cause of this example of an ineffective way of exchanging information, it’s more likely to create issues such as misunderstanding, unnecessary conflict, the “grapevine” effect, and so on. Things that can be avoided completely, if you just spent a little time to make sure your recipient understands what you mean. A lil’ bit of effort to just make sure your point is getting delivered and well-received.
Try to construct your idea before you say or write it, from the beginning until it reaches the closing statements. Think twice, is it already well-constructed in terms of the information structure? Try to think about what it is that you want your recipient to understand. What idea do you want your recipient to get?
Also listen… understand the question that is thrown at you, and answer the question on point — no more, no less. As Steven Covey said, “Most people don’t listen with an intent to understand, they listen to reply”. Double-check if your answer is satisfactory. After all the processes, ask: “Do you understand, so far?” If not, try to pinpoint which points aren’t clear yet.
We mustn’t stop at the relief that we’ve already done our part in conveying the information. We have to think about whether the receiving parties understand what we’ve said earlier. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in your ego. Communication for me… is not for my own sake, but it must be working for both sides.
Communication comes from “Communicare”, a Latin word meaning “to share”. Note that the word used in the meaning is “share”, not “tell” — and many people still haven’t done so. When they are talking, presenting, doing a speech, writes, they often forget to “share” what is within their mind and just “tell” instead.
I struggled with this issue in the past years and learned it the hard way. Even now, I‘m still learning. This piece might not effectively make you understand what’s in my mind, and if that’s the case… my sincere apologies and I’ll try to be better next time.
Communication is a powerful tool to build a relationship, but it’s also a tool to end it. It’s a tool to influence people, to do good things or bad things. It’s a tool to initiate a great social movement for the greater good, but it can also be used in propaganda. We need to be able to acknowledge its power and learn how to practice it in the best way that we can.
Cheers 🍻 — Ferzos
