I’m Robin, But Also Ted
“Love doesn’t make sense! You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we’re lost, and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing, we do.” — Ted Mosby
How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) is my favorite TV series of all time. I can’t count how many times I rewatched my favorite episodes and still find something new. HIMYM is a story of 5 friends who live in the city of New York, each with their own issues to tackle. But the main storyline of HIMYM is about Ted who retells a story of how he met his wife. It’s basically a story about how one finds his “true love”. Among this bunch, there are 2 characters that I strongly relate to. Even though they are both really polar opposites, I can somehow understand both sides of the story. They are Robin and Ted.
1. Robin Scherbatsky
Robin is a tomboyish yet gorgeous woman in the group. Robin and I share a common trait of how we really love what we do. Robin is very passionate about her work. Aiming to be successful in journalism, she started at the bottom by becoming a reporter for Metro News One. She grabbed every opportunity that came her way, even up to the point that she flew across the Pacific to become an anchor in Japan.
One time in her career, the TV program that she anchored was so early in the morning and it became a running joke in the series.
We watched her climb up the career ladder throughout the series. The road is not always smooth for Robin, and oftentimes she seems to always choose her job over romance.
“It’s the never-ending battle of my life: Career vs romance.” — Robin Scherbatsky
I somehow understand how Robin is feeling. Just like Robin, I really love what I do. Since I was in junior high, I’ve always wanted a job in technology, and I’m really serious about it. It puts me in a position where I have to be focused back in my uni days. I think that’s why I didn’t engage in “searching for a girlfriend” like my friends did. There’s only an “I have to study hard in order to be successful in my later career” mentality.
Now I’m working as a Web Software Engineer, and I really passionate about what I do. I can’t let go of this job no matter what the situation (at least for now). Let’s say I do get a girl, and there’s a situation arises where I have to choose between a job and her. The current me will surely choose the job. I’ll be the Robin who accepts the opportunity in Chicago. In fact, I think that’s what I’m currently doing actually 🤔
Robin also tends to avoid relationships cause she hates herself when she’s in one. In season 2, she can’t help acting crazy out of jealousy for Ted. She feels that she is not herself when she’s in love with somebody. Some parts of me also feel the same way. I hate myself when I can’t think straight — when the “heart” is talking, not the “mind”. This kind of behavior might pop up when one is in a relationship, or pursuing one. The “love is blind” will control your attitude, and I don’t really like the feeling. There’s a line in the series that really illustrates this:
“Opening up to another person means that you’re opening up to a lil bit of crazy. Thought about how much easier it was just to be alone.” — Ted explaining love to Robin
But…
No matter how similar Robin and I are, I can’t deny that I also have an opposite desire in me. Here comes Ted.
2. Theodore Evelyn Mosby
Ted Mosby is the antithesis of Robin. For him, love is above all. He was willing to cancel the construction of the building he was designing, simply because his girlfriend had a fond memory of the hotel that needed to be torn down in order for his building to stand.
He’s willing to pursue a relationship with one of his students, even though it means that he could very well lose his job.
Love always wins for Ted. But that’s not the trait I can relate with Ted. Rather it’s a dream of his to find “the one”.
Ted has weirdly specific demands for his soulmate. “She can play bass” or “she loves renaissance”. No matter how much I hate being in a relationship, I must admit that deep down… I do want to find “the one” — just like Ted.
I once read that we, INFJs — have this thing where we create an illusion of an “ideal” partner. Our partner needs to tick all of our checkboxes. Otherwise, they’re not good enough. In the series, Ted has plenty of chances where he could end up with a great girl, but he never did. There are Victoria, Stella, and Zoey. But to Ted, they are not “the one”. They still don’t live up to his expectations, at least in Ted’s eyes.
At the end of the series, he meets Tracy who basically Ted in a woman form. I would argue that Ted DID find his “the one“. But life is not a sitcom, it’s more complicated and the dream of finding “the one”, sometimes reaches out to the point of being unrealistic.
I have to be honest with myself, I can’t help but hope for it. If I have to spend my life with someone from here to eternity, I very much want it to be with someone who matches my quirks. It has to be “the one”. “Good enough” won’t cut it for me. I don’t wanna “settle” for my soulmate, I want to “reach” and “pursue” her. Even though I don’t get it, at least I’ve tried to find it — that’s what I thought.
As much as these 2 characters differ in their point of view on romance, I do understand both sides. I understand the “career-focused” Robin who put in blood, sweat, and tears to get to where she’s at. I also relate to “hopeless romantic” Ted who dreamt of spending the rest of his life with a person that he can’t live without. I create this paradox within me that I don’t even know how to get rid of… or maybe take care of… (?) idk…
This story is a way for me to embrace both sides of me that seem to be “always fighting” every time an opportunity presents itself. By writing this out loud, here I am… admitting myself. So… are you Robin? Ted? Or maybe a lil’ bit of both just like me?
